By Allison Rozansky
Have you ever felt like your body was working against you? No matter what you did, it still wasn’t working, or it never felt like enough?
For most of my adolescence, I believed I had to fix and control my body to feel worthy or accepted. I chased approval and tied my self-worth to how I looked, which led to crash diets, obsessive calorie counting habits, this is a dangerous cycle that over time can result in an eating disorder. According to the National Initiative for Eating Disorders; an estimated 1.7 million Canadians suffer from an eating disorder. While this is an alarmingly high number, most eating disorders are not reported and therefore this number may actually be much higher.
According to Statistics Canada, eating disorders often start during adolescence and are much more prevalent in females than in males. Anorexia nervosa occurs when someone deprives their body of food and the body is underweight. The British Columbia Division of the Canadian Mental Health Association explains that anorexia is a mental illness that causes people to perceive that their bodies are larger than they are and instills a fear of gaining weight. They further explain that people who suffer from anorexia often believe that they would be a better person if they were thinner.
Bulimia nervosa is defined as eating excessive amounts of food and then trying to rid the body of the food that was previous ingested. According to Statistics Canada “individuals with anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa are similar in terms of their disturbed perception in body shape and weight, in their level of dissatisfaction with their bodies, and in their fear of gaining weight. However, individuals with anorexia nervosa often feel in control of their eating and body weight, whereas individuals with bulimia nervosa feel out of control”. People with co-occurring mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, OCD, substance abuse and personality disorders are at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder. People who have a family member with an eating disorder are also at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder of their own.
And while not everyone develops an eating disorder, many people can relate to feeling disconnected from their bodies. For some, that disconnection shows up as body shame, chronic dieting, overworking, or trying to push through anxiety or trauma without pausing or slowing down. The voice criticizing your body is often learned and internalized, usually shaped by diet culture, childhood trauma and personality. Many people feel their bodies constantly need improvement, as if they must change them to be accepted and worthy. We’re taught to believe, and many of us have believe, the narrative that our value is tied to how we look or how much we achieve, instead of who we truly are.
When was the last time you asked your body what it needed? Maybe it’s food, rest, movement, connection, or kindness. We can begin to heal our bodies when we stop fighting for control and start listening. When we pay attention, we realize that the body is wise. It speaks to us and can heal. In fact, it is always trying to guide us towards healing.
What would it be like if you slowed down and tuned into hunger, cravings and began letting go of the pull towards diet culture and self-loathing? Could you let go of your fear? Of other people’s perceptions and opinions about your body. Are you brave enough to learn, unlearn and deepen your relationship with your body?
Some practices that have helped me slow down and reconnect with my body, which might support you too, include breathwork, meditation, grounding techniques, yoga, and movement that feels good.
Healing isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong journey. Finding your center and inner wisdom means learning to trust yourself again and unlearning conditioned patterns, which takes courage and time.
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