By Allison Rozansky

For most of my life, I thought that confidence was superficial. I believed it came from material things—the people you knew, your job, or how much money you made. I tried to fake confidence, but it only left me feeling more anxious and lowered my self-esteem.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to experience true confidence and real self-esteem. That shift began when I started trusting my inner voice instead of looking to others for validation.

I began to feel genuinely confident because I was keeping the promises I made to myself. I stopped abandoning myself and began caring for myself during difficult times.

One of my favourite books, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, includes the idea to “look within for the answers”. Once you choose yourself, everything begins to shift.

For me, that didn’t look like one big life-changing moment. It looked like small, everyday choices—keeping simple promises to myself, like getting out of bed when I said I would, taking a walk when I felt overwhelmed, or allowing myself to rest when I needed it. Over time, those moments built trust in myself.

This didn’t happen overnight. It took time and started with small choices—finding ways to be there for myself in difficult moments. Through that, I began to believe in myself—creating habits and routines that made me feel good, while also listening to what I needed.

True self-esteem and confidence come from trusting yourself, creating a life that feels right to you, and taking care of yourself along the way.

If you’re trying to build self-trust and confidence, here are a few ways you can start:

  • Start small—keep one promise to yourself each day
  • Pay attention to your inner voice instead of immediately looking outside for answers
  • Be there for yourself in difficult moments
  • Create routines that support you

You can also ask yourself: Where in my life am I abandoning myself, and what would it look like to support myself instead?

Many clients come to therapy wanting to build self-esteem, confidence, and a healthier relationship with themselves. The truth is—you can do this too.

If you’ve been struggling with confidence, you’re not alone. You can build self-trust in small ways, and over time, that becomes the kind of confidence that no one can take away from you.

It starts with one decision: to stop abandoning yourself and start supporting yourself in a loving way. This can be a tough transition and it doesn’t happen immediately, but the right support matters. Reach out to me, I would love to help support your journey to self-love. Together we can start building self-trust and get you out of past cycles of chasing approval from others that don’t work and deplete your times and energy.